The Secret In His Eyes
by Jayel Potter
Summary: When Sirius visits Remus on the night of James's death, Remus knows he's hiding something. But what? What is the secret that Sirius is hiding in his eyes? An One-shot on Remus' feelings when he discovers that Sirius was the one who betrayed the Potters.


**The Secret In His Eyes:**

Remus Lupin glanced at Sirius Black's dark eyes as he went away and knew at once, that he was hiding something. There was a secret in his eyes. Ever since Sirius was made the Potters' secret keeper, he had somehow grown detached to everything else. Ever since word had leaked that there was a spy among them, things had become distant.

Like, for example, right now, he had come to Remus's house, refused to have tea and said he was just stopping by on Dumbledore's orders. What bothered Remus most was that, when Remus had asked Sirius how James and Lily were, he had replied with a shrug and said he had to get going. Something was wrong, he knew.

Remus stared at the half moon, sighing. A spy! Among the Marauders! Who could it be? It was not him, he knew. Or prongs. Then who was it? Wormtail…Padfoot… NO! He could not afford to think that ever. It could all be a misunderstanding, the spy may have never been within the Marauders at all! Still, Remus felt insecure. Who was it?

* * *

"It was Sirius Black."

Remus Lupin clutched the table desk for support fighting against the darkness that engulfed him. He had suffered a terrible blow. He had lost James. James… Prongs… his brother. And Lily, like a sister to him… always there for him. But still, he refused to believe it. Sirius Black, a spy? Never!

"No. No. It couldn't have been!" he gasped at Dumbledore who wore an expression fit to someone at a funeral.

"Remus, the full moon is in two hours. I suggest you put this out of your mind. It must be hard to accept that James and Lily are dead-"

Remus let out a strangled moan.

Dumbledore reached out and patted his shoulder. "They never truly leave you Remus.. they exist, in your heart." he advised. But his words made no change to Remus.

"Sirius… Sirius! I can't believe it! Dumbledore there must have been some mistake!" he pleaded.

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid not. Sirius Black betrayed Lily and James Potter. The murder of Peter Pettigrew is proof enough." he said.

Remus winced. Peter, poor blundering Peter. He was such an idiot to think he could have taken Sirius all by himself.

Dumbledore gave Remus one last hard look before turning on the spot and vanishing. Abandoning all pretence, Remus broke down on the chair and sobbed. He mourned the lose of his only family, James and Lily.

"How could you do this Sirius?" Remus whispered. "How? Wasn't James a brother to you?" And then Remus realised two things. One, he was the only Marauder alive as Siri-Black was no longer one. Two, Remus had now found out the secret in Black's eyes. These were the thoughts that haunted him that night until he changed into a werewolf.

* * *

The full moon had left Remus Lupin tired but clear of thought and pain. The morning Prophet, "THE DARK LORD GONE, WIZARDS AND WITCHED AROUND THE COUNTRY REJOICE", "SIRIUS BLACK SENTENCED TO AZKABAN FOR MURDER-" lay crumpled on the floor.

Lupin sat in a nearby chair letting his memories flow through him.

"_No more than four to a boat!" yelled a giant man called Hagrid. Remus Lupin joined three others in a boat. The boy he sat next to was small and stuttering. The other two boys smiled warmly at him._

"_James Potter." said the boy with the glasses._

"_Sirius Black." said the other boy casually."And that's Peter Pettigrew." he added pointing at the small boy._

_Remus simply nodded not wanting to get too close to others as he was afraid that they would leave him as soon as they realised that he was a monster. The boy called Sirius Black stared at him. "Didn't your parents name you?" he asked._

"_They did." said Remus._

"_Wow! He speaks!" said James Potter. "So what's your name?" he asked._

"_Remus Lupin." said Remus._

_And everything picked up rather quickly. Remus couldn't resist joining in the conversation too and he had never had such a good quickly, the Marauders were formed and Remus found himself a part of it._

* * *

"_You're… You're… I mean, you're a… a werewolf?" asked an astonished Sirius Black. It was really early in the morning and Remus had just returned from running around as a werewolf to find James and Sirius sitting wide awake in the common room waiting to confront him with their obeservations._

_Deciding that the truth was what was best at this time, Remus told them everything. About how Dumbledore had let him come, about the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack and that that was where he disappeared every month. It may have been his imagination, but he though he saw James and Sirius move away from him as he spoke._

_James opened his mouth, but Remus cut across him._

"_I know. We can't be friends 's okay, but please don't tell anybody else. I know I'm a monster but I swear I shall not hurt you."_

"_What are you talking about?" asked a confused James._

"_Look, I'm sorry I tried to get close. You're scared, I understand." said Remus backing away._

_When they still looked confused, he said, "You're gonna leave me right? Never talk to me again?"_

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "When we first met him, he refused to open his mouth and now look, talking rubbish. I think we've had a bad influence on him James." he said shaking his head._

"_Remus, we don't care that you are a werewolf. You are still Remus Lupin to us! How could you think that, even for one minute, that we would leave you?" asked James._

"_I- wait.. what? You don't care? You don't care that I'm a monster?!" whispered Remus Lupin._

"_You are not a monster Remus! You've just got a… a problem." said Sirius._

"_Yeah, a furry little problem." added James._

"_But-but-"_

"_Oh stop wallowing in self-pity would you? I'm afraid it is not so easy to escape the Marauders. It would take more than a werewolf to do that." said Sirius._

_Remus looked uncertain. "Are you sure? I mean- you still wanna talk to a werewolf?" he asked._

"_Yeah, yeah seeing as talking to werewolves is what we do every day." said James with a smile._

_Remus hugged him. "Thank you." he said. James smiled at him. Remus hugged Sirius."Aw, look, a werewolf fancies me!" said Sirius. Remus punched him and Sirius smiled. That night Remus felt content. Tomorrow, James and Sirius would tell Peter. For the first thime, he had friends at Hogwarts. Real, true friends._

* * *

_When Remus saw Sirus enter the common room with a crumpled letter in his hand and his eyes darkened, he felt concerned. He had never seen Sirius look like that before._

"_What's up Padfoot?" asked Remus._

_Sirius didn't answer but went to his dormitory pulled on a coat and walked out of the potrait hole. Remus made to follow him, but James went first concern written all over his face. And somehow, he knew that whatever Sirius's problem was, James could fix it._

_Ten minutes later, Remus saw James and Sirius enter the common room and they sat by him._

"_What happened?" he asked Sirius._

"_I got a letter from my darling mother that I was no longer welcome to come back there considering the fact that I ran away to the Potter's this summer." said Sirius in an off-hand voice._

_Remus looked symphatetic."You hated the place anyway didn't you?" he asked. Sirius nooded, yawned and said, "Well, I'm gonna go get a good snog. I'm tired." _

_Remus turned instead to James his eyes demanding answers. Sighing, James turned over his hand. There was a long cut there. _

"_Evans was it? Never thought she'd hurt you this bad." said Remus._

_James just shook his head. "It wasn't Evans, Moony. I- when Sirius showed me that letter, I said that he could still come over to my place, I told him that he was like a son to my parets already. Padfoot just nooded but then he said that "even then, we weren't _blood_"."_

_And suddenly, Remus understood. Prongs and Padfoot were brothers now, not just brothers by thought, but by blood._

* * *

It was impossible to still believe that the spy had been Si-Black all along. After all that had happened, how could he have? He glanced at the floor at the madly laughing picture of Black and felt like he didn't know him at all.

* * *

Remus Lupin decided to keep a watch on the Marauders Map that evening. After all this was the day when Buckbeak was going to be executed and he was sure Harry would sneak off to see him. He touched the Map fondly. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." he muttered.

The map came into view. Ah, there was Harry, he thought, spotting him in the grounds. His eyes almost popped out at what he saw next to Ron. There was the word, the name, unmistakable. "Peter Pettigrew." Lupin stared in shock. Peter was alive? But, but then, why hadn't he shown himself? The answer was waiting at what came next. He saw a dot named "Sirius Black" drag Ron and into the Whomping Willow. Harry and Hermione followed. He didn't understand, Sirius was back to kill Peter? Not Harry? Why?

And then everything clicked in place. Sirius was not the spy, Peter was! That was why Sirius had not dragged Harry inside the hole but Peter instead! But… wasn't Sirius secret keeper? Remus thought. Something shifted inside him. He understood everything… almost everything. He had a few questions for Sirius. He was Sirius, not Black as Remus had been forced to refer to him out of hatred. He was Sirius again, he was Padfoot. And he dashed to the tree to meet Sirius forgetting in his excitement that it was the full moon. He had finally deciphered the secret in Sirius' eyes as he had come to meet him on the night of Prongs' death. Sirius had thought he(Remus) was the spy and the secret-keeper had been changed to Peter without telling him.

* * *

Remus helplessly watched Sirius fall as Bellatrix Lestrange's spell hit him square in the chest. Sirius eyes flicked to his one last time conveying his goodbye. His smile was still etched in his face and Remus knew at once that this was what Sirius wanted.

"I'm coming Prongs." would have been his last thought. And that was why Remus did not struggle or cry out when Sirius vanished into the veil. He knew, that Sirius was where he wanted to be, with James.

"One day I'll come too." he promised. "I solemnly swear I will."

And Remus Lupin was glad again that he had met the Marauders. One small misunderstanding had tore them all apart but everyone would be together in the end. And we all know that James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Tonks all were together in the end forever watching upon their kids from above.

**How was it? Please review and tell me if you like it!**

**Did you think it was a bit slow? Do tell me what you think!**

**StoryWebber: ****Thank you for taking time to read and review. What I meant when Remus said, "I'll come soon." was only that he would join them one day. Remus would never have ran to the Battle of Hogwarts to die. Harry had already taught him that he should never leave his kid and he also loved Tonks too much. He just meant that some day he would meet them. And at the time Remus spoke these words, he did not know that in the future he would be married to Tonks and would have a son. And I have also made a small change in his words. Tell me if this sounds better. Thanks again for reviewing.**

**Rosemarie Tunney: Thank you. Your action is really appreciated.**


End file.
